The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1052)
Let me stress the words once again ‘’Ungrateful to their husbands’’.
We women immediately say ‘’Ungrateful, how? We cook food for them, wash their clothes, give birth and take care of their children, house, money etc. What more can we do??” Yes we do everything for them but we also talk ill about them in their presence and absence. We keep complaining no matter how much they do for us. (I am not an exception).
Men work so hard all day to give us a comfort living in all sense. For small reasons we women make a big issue, and keep our mood off when they arrive after a tired day. We rarely put ourselves in their shoes. We simply don’t want to accept their hard work.
It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: “I attended Eid prayers with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He started with the prayer before the khutbah, with no adhaan or iqaamah. Then he stood up, leaning on Bilaal, speaking of fear of Allaah (taqwa) and urging us to obey Him. He preached to the people and reminded them. Then he went over to the women and preached to them and reminded them. Then he said, ‘Give in charity, for you are the majority of the fuel of Hell. A woman with dark cheeks stood up in the midst of the women and said, ‘Why is that, O Messenger of Allah?’ He said, ‘Because you complain too much and are ungrateful to your husbands.’ Then they started to give their jewellery in charity, throwing their earrings and rings into Bilaal’s cloak.” ( Narrated by Muslim, 885)
Allah has set forward to us an example of a perfect couple our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) and his dear wife Khadeeja (ra).
I believe their love has still not ended as the impact it created on us, Prophet’s (peace be upon him) Ummatis is indeed a remarkable one. Messenger of Allah (pbuh) was just 25 years of age when he got married to 40 years old Khadija (ra), which clearly shows age, is not the factor concerning a relationship. Our Prophet (pbuh) was completely at ease when he was with his beloved wife, whenever he had something bothering him he would share it with Khadija (ra) who was a strong lady with a soft heart. Let me mention an incident here, when Prophet (pbuh) received his first revelation he got so scared that he ran to his wife. Khadija (ra) was bold enough to console him, wrap him with a blanket and cleverly ask him what happened. She did not panic or try calling relatives for help but handled the situation with courage. This is a pure example of understanding a husband and acting in an intelligent manner. May Allah (subhana’,wata ala’) bless all believing women with such courage and wisdom.
Let’s come back to our topic of how to attain Jannah through your husband. A wife has certain obligatory duties towards her husband and vice versa.
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: “The woman who reads her five prayers, fasts in the month of Ramadhan, protects her chastity and is obedient to her I husband; such a woman will enter into Jannah from any of the doors she wishes to enter from’’
Let’s change the scenario and be women who can change not only their houses but the community as well.
Believing women are supposed to be obedient to their husbands in all matters except that which Allah has forbidden, example if he ask you to take off your hijab, or stop doing salah you need not obey him because if you do so your disobeying Allah. The next step a woman can do is perform all her duties at home with perfection and try adding in an essence of love into it. While doing your daily chores remember Allah is pleased with you as you are pleasing your husband working for him. Always try to be soft spoken and keep quiet when your husband is angry. Arguing with each other will only make the scene worse, when your husband realizes that you are being humble and trying to avoid conflicts he will do the same and will have a big impression about you. Another common mistake women make is that they dress up well when going out and don’t bother to do it at home. The first and foremost thing a woman should grasp is that her body is only for her husband to be adored, so it is very essential for her not only dress neatly but also adorn herself when her husband approaches her. Perfumes and cosmetics should be used at home rather than going out.
Men love women who have a sense of humor and talk a lot but that does not mean you should stop being a listener. Always make sure you ask your husband about his day and listen to all his worries and be by his side when he needs you most.
Not to forget the saying ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’
Always try and prepare tasty and healthy food for your husband that he would hate having food from out.
‘’Educate a woman and you educate a family’’
Most of the girls get depressed thinking they are not able to work after taking degrees, as their husband’s wish they stayed at home. Don’t be, because you’re getting double reward by staying at home. Along with obeying your husband your pleasing Allah, and about your education, you have a generation in the form of children in front of you…Pass your knowledge onto them.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) mentioned together three important characteristics to be found in the good, righteous wife.
(i) When he looks at her, he is happy with her religious commitment, attitude, behavior and appearance.
(ii) When he is away from her, she protects his honor and his wealth.
(iii) If he tells her to do something, she obeys him, so long as he does not tell her to commit sin.
In short we can conclude the fact that if a woman sincerely craves for Jannah she has to keep her husband happy by obeying him and being content with what he provides. It is of course not a very difficult task I guess…
Once you start living a life like that you see the change in your husband which would definitely make your love story like that which are read in books J
Let’s make the first move by not complaining about our husband to our friends and family and as a second stage be careful never to disobey him. Rest of the tasks will become easier as we start getting closer to Allah through his Quran.
I believe being a woman is one of the greatest blessings from Allah. We get a chance to give birth to a tiny life and grow him/her into a righteous human who benefits the whole world.
“If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter into Paradise.” (Ibn Majah and Tirmidhi)
The hadees is a one sentence explaining the whole article…
Just remind yourself about it and every task of your will become easy. You can also make a print out of it and put it on your refrigerator so that whenever you lose your temper you will be able to control it.
All men who are reading please take a note of the hadees
‘’Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbor. And I advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women.”
It is crystal clear that women are born different from men and so they should be accepted as they are, the more you try to change them the more worse the situation will be.
Let me wind up quoting one more hadees and hoping all readers benefit from the write up.
“Among my followers the best of men are those who are best to their wives, and the best of women are those who are best to their husbands. To each of such women is set down a reward equivalent to the reward of a thousand martyrs. Among my followers, again, the best of women are those who assist their husbands in their work, and love them dearly for everything, save what is a transgression of Allah’s laws.”